Wanderlust

Hello friends. So I have been having some difficulties recently. I have been feeling like no matter what I try and accomplish nothing ever really goes the way it’s supposed to. I try and be a good wife, and a good mother, and a good student. But then where is the time where I get to be good to me. When do I get the time to be the very best version of myself outside of being those other things?

I desperately dream of walking the streets that we’re diagon alley or standing at Kings Cross station. These are things I’ve dreamed of since I was small and now as an adult hold a much stronger meaning for me. An adult filled with guilt and a sense of failure I just need to go back to that sense of childhood magic. That sense that anything could be real as long as you believe it can.

Instead here I sit watching the great British bake off and hiding from the world. This will do for now I suppose…

 

Cosplays and conventions

 

Do you ever have that moment where you put on a cartoon for your kid and ten minutes later you realize they aren’t actually watching it anymore…but you still are? There’s always that small moment of adulting involved shame after where you realize you were actually enjoying it.

Nerd mom has this problem. I have a little nerd boy. A nerd boy who likes hot wheels, and video games and pretending he’s lightning McQueen, but also my Little pony. This appeals to nerd mom for many reasons. There are no hot wheels, the friendship themes are really important, and the art and animation made me want to create friendship stories with the nerd boy.

So I started looking into My Little Pony conventions that seemed really family friendly. I wanted not only my first convention , but also the boys to be something we could do together and he could enjoy everything it had to offer.

Everfree northwest turned out to be the closest one to our neck of the woods. We missed the dates for this year, but I’ve marked the dates for next year on the calendar. That gives me six months to plan our cosplays for the weekend. I’m thinking of attempting some gender bending costumes for the nerd boy and nerd dad if he’s willing.

There will hopefully be some inspiration pictures and progress pics as things come together.

Thanks for joining me on my quest to find my inner nerd mom.

Finding comics-Skottie Young

 

So I wandered through the graphic novels and comic book section looking for a Christmas present last year for the nerd dad. I was on my knees on that beautifully prickly dark green carpet when I came across a brightly colored book I had never seen or heard of before.

A little girl in a frayed pink dress with wild Bunches of curly green hair. She was carrying a blood covered battle axe that was twice her size. The candy colored massacre drew me in, and within the first five pages I knew I was taking fairyland home with me. Gert’s sass and overwhelming love of destruction spoke to me.

Skottie young created the perfect combination of a bitter, broken spirit inside the spritely vision of a six year old girl. Gert is what happens when all your childhood spirit is gone and all that’s left is the violent unending rage of adulthood. All of us have been so bitter at some point in our lives we thought about shooting down the stars. Gert actually did it, and she did it in style. Just like she does everything else.

I had never heard of skottie young before I found Gert hiding on that bottom shelf. I’m glad I did. Those of you who need a laugh and don’t mind a little gore I hope Gert calls to you like she called to me.

Tsundoku Warrior

conquering my tsundoku one half-read book at a time

 

Every introvert has their own happy place. That one spot in the world where they don’t have to be a person they don’t want to be just to fit in. For me that place happens to be the book store. I could wander down those aisles forever in silence and be perfectly happy. I’m terrible at small talk. It makes me anxious.

The only problem is you cant come to the book store and not hear someone’s story calling out to you. There is always one that begs you to take it home and bring it to life. So there you are with a stack of half-read or completely unread books staring you in the face. Like a bunch of friends you just stop talking to a month after you meet them.

The Japanese have a word for people like us: tsundoku. The act of letting unread reading materials pile up in your home. Its a combination of the verbs Tsunde:to stack things, oku: to leave for awhile, and doku: to read. It’s a fitting term for book nerds like me.

I figured as part of my nerd mom journey I would bring you all along as I tried to conquer my tsundoku and be a more productive book nerd. My shelf contains everything from fantasy, to mystery to books with writing or art exercises in them. So I hope you enjoy the journey, and hopefully it inspires you to conquer your own tsundoku.

A Little Girls Favorite Movie

A little girl obsessed with magic and believing in something bigger found solace in the story of a little girl named kiki. Before I even knew what anime was I had fallen in love with Hayao Miyazaki’s story of a young witch who moves to a new town to train with her cat jiji. She goes on a grand adventure of self discovery.

Fast forward nearly 20 years and who do I find sitting on a studio ghibli display in my local bookstore? The little black cat with the purple ears that I had loved so much as a girl. I left jiji on the shelf that day. He was a little expensive, and I figured I was too old to buy a stuffed toy for myself. I walked by that little cat once a week for a month. I would pick him up, rub his ears and then put him down again. I’m sure to the clerks I looked a little lost. Maybe I was a little bit.

Then one day I brought the nerd dad to the bookstore. The nerd dad was the one who reintroduced me to the magic of studio Ghibli so many years later. I found there was a whole collection of movies I had never seen. I told him how I had walked by that cat all those times, and how much I loved him. Without a second thought he took that little ball of joy from me and he bought him. The nerd dad showed me unconditional love in that moment.

Now on days where I feel lonely I have jiji. He reminds me of love and a little girls constant desire for adventure. Thanks you nerd dad.

I love you to the moon…

Nerd Mom: Lvl One

I was the girl who would run her Gameboy advance till the batteries died. The one who would come home and play super Mario world till the super Nintendo overheated. I had stacks of pokemon cards and dreams of running away to Hogwarts when I turned eleven. I so desperately wanted a growlithe. wouldn’t you?

Then one day I just sort of stopped being those things. Sometimes real life gets in the way of loving the things you loved when you were young. Instead of reading books to get away from things you find that wine tastes delicious and nobody judges a 27-year-old woman for drinking wine when she comes home. I stopped playing video games. My Harry potter books getting lonely on the shelf. The pixie dust that used to fuel my imagination slowly flickering out.

Now I have a five-year old boy. He likes video games and Disney Cars. He tells stories for hours and sometimes I cant keep up. In fact quite often I cant keep up. I dont know what it is about adults but sometimes we loose the ability to play. Sometimes (most…all of the time) I dont feel like I’m being the best mom I could be. He deserved better and I needed to be better.

I pulled my illustrated version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone off the dusty shelf. I rediscovered my love of Super Mario through introducing my son to New Super Mario Bros for the Wii. I realized that a part of me had missed nerd mom all along. I’ve become much happier as I reintroduce the things that made me happy years ago. There is no shame in loving things that make life less miserable. Watch that anime if you want. Put on that wig and go to that con. Show your children that having passions in life is what makes life interesting.

How will their imagination grow and flourish if you dont show them how. Believe in fairies like you did when you were a girl. Sprinkle that long forgotten pixie dust on your tired, fragile imagination and become the best version of yourself. The girl who dreamed big dreams walking hand in hand with the adult who goes to work and pays her bills. Become Nerd Mom. You wont regret it.